Today is Ash Wednesday. I have struggled the past few days overthinking what I wanted to focus on during lent – what should I give up? What should I do? I wanted to find a photo challenge to do to really get me thinking and delve into my soul these days. There is so much emotion, so much unknown, uneasiness, and just questioning after the Methodist vote last week. I scoured the internet and kept finding all of these Catholic practices and Catholic challenges for Lent. Which for me, I grew up Catholic, and I thank them for my strong sense of God and for my everlasting guilt I feel for EVERYTHING in life. Joking aside, I wanted to find the perfect way to sort through my crazy feelings as of late. It hit me late this afternoon while I was sitting at church waiting for the service to start, that there is no perfect way to go through Lent. There is no perfect way to deal with all of these feelings and thoughts right now.

Sitting through Ash Wednesday service tonight, I was assured that we are not alone in this crazy step that our church took backwards last week. Our job is to keep loving. Keep questioning. Keep believing. Keep standing up for what is right.

I came home and paged through a Lenten Photo challenge/devotional that I am going to try to use this season. Is it perfect, no? I don’t even care what “church” it comes from as I can’t even say in faith that I would use something that came from the UMC right now. So, if you care to join me, this is the Lenten devotional/photo challenge I am going to try to follow this season. Is it perfect? Nope. But it has great questions and great ideas to help me muddle through this craziness. The best part? It’s focus is God is on the Move. And, this quite frankly I believe is a resounding truth!

This challenge starts on Facebook: Like their Facebook page and participate if you’d like. Or just sit tight and watch the messiness in my heart and brain unfold.

Today’s word of the day is pray. The questions to reflect on are: What is your most common prayer? • What is the hardest thing for you to pray for? • Where in your life today is God creating in you a clean heart?

Where do I start? My most common prayers revolve around my family and thanking God for all of our blessings. The hardest thing for me to pray for is when I need to admit that I am struggling and that I need help seeing where I am supposed to be going. But, that resonating last question is where I will focus my thoughts on tonight. I believe that God is creating in me a clean heart as I move past the tough obstacles I’ve had the past few years and helping me be mindful, in the moment, and loving. God has helped my family through the transition into a new church family. God has helped me appreciate the small moments. God has helped me take a few, no, who am I kidding, SEVERAL steps back…….maybe a mile or two….. and really think about life, love, family, my marriage, my kids, and my heart.

Are things always easy? Hell to the NO! But, I have learned a lot this past year about standing up for myself, for my family, for God, all while trying to teach our boys to do the same. But, the best part, is that we are never alone! Not only is God with us, we have each other, our family, our Church family and our faith.

At tonight’s service, Pastor Max had us write out on slips of paper things we were ready to give God so that we could move forward. It was a really moving experience. Both boys also participated – it was heartwarming to see Kirby writing out his little slip of paper. After we put the paper in a bowl, Pastor lit the papers on fire and we watched as our worries and heavy issues were lifted up to God.

Pastor had encouraging words again that we are not alone in this crazy direction that the Conference put us on. We will keep moving forward towards the light. It’s especially important to do this as we enter together into the darkness and reflective season of Lent.

So, grab a chair, and join me through this time!

As for my photo for today, reflecting prayer, I leave you with this.