Over the past few years, I’ve been really struggling with getting caught up in the craziness that life is these days. I have been much more mindful about life. Mindful about my time. Mindful about my words. (Ok, the sailor part of me is still a work in progress, but this goes beyond even swearing. What words do I use every day with my children, with my students, with my husband, with my friends. Are those words part of who I want to be?) Mindful about life as a whole and about enjoying the small moments that make up life. I’ve been working on not only noticing things around me, but naming them, and giving them value in my life.

I find myself reminding myself that I don’t know their story when the impulse to make a judgement or say an unkind thing about another person comes. I have been teaching my children that as well lately. We have those conversations about “the kid who sat alone at lunch” or the “kid who wore jeans to baseball tryouts.” I want my kids to remind themselves that they don’t know that person’s story at all. The way they need to respond is with kindness, inclusiveness, and love.

On my way out the door at school one day last spring, I told a student who was standing there waiting for a ride to have a great weekend. My son’s friend asked my son if I knew that kid. My son replied, “No, but my mom wants kids to leave school for home with hope. She doesn’t know that kid’s story, but she believes that her kindness may help him when he gets home.” My son went on to explain that maybe that kid had a rough day. Maybe that kid was teased a lot. Maybe he had sad thoughts. “Maybe just by being nice, my mom made a difference in his life. In fact, we don’t know, maybe that kid was thinking of ending his life this weekend, and my mom showed kindness and good in the world.”

My heart swelled. I wanted to cry, but come on, I can’t cry in front of my son’s friends! I just said, “What he said is not wrong. We don’t know other people’s stories.” The kids ran off to the van to start heading home.

That night, I did give my son a great big MAMA BEAR hug. He gets it. That’s what I want my kids to be like when they grow up. I want them to be kind, show love, and just be inclusive. We are all God’s children.

This past summer, our family made a huge leap and we left the church where Hubby’s Grandfather had been Pastor; where his parents were married; where he had grown up; where we were married ; where his parents were buried; where our kids were baptized. All because our kids were hearing that it was ok to not include people at our church. Punky started asking questions about a sermon where it was said that homosexuality is a sin. Punky knew to ask us about it. He told us that that wasn’t right and that wasn’t what we had taught him. Love is love. Our job is to love all people. He went on to say that his teachers at school taught him to include and accept everyone. It’s not our job to make judgments. We are just supposed to love.

The church we found this summer is exactly that. It amazes me in how right it feels for our family. People not only preach but they show LOVE. Our kids know that we are in a place that accepts all people – all colors, all sexualities, all abilities, all means all there. Like it should be.

The decision that was made this week at the UMC Conference broke my heart. But, through all of my emotions, I found peace of mind in knowing that we will keep on doing what we do in our family. And, today in church, we heard that same action plan from our amazing Pastor. Love is love; and our job is to love all of God’s children. No exceptions.

Today, I sat at baseball tryouts waiting for my son. I opened up the book “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. I sat there for an hour an a half reading and rereading all about what I have been trying to do in my life these past few years. Letting go of the negativeness; challenging myself each day to be a better self than yesterday. My three takeaways from the book so far are:

• “I don’t know the central tenant of your faith, but the central tenet of mine is ‘love thy neighbor.’ Not ‘love thy neighbor if they look and act and think like you.’ Not ‘love thy neighbor so long as they wear the right clothes and say the right things.’ Just love them.”
• She was talking about God loving each of us unconditionally, but that she doesn’t think that means we get to squander the gifts he’s given us. “A caterpillar is awesome, but if the caterpillar stopped there – if she just decided that good is good enough – we would all miss out on the beautiful creature she would become.”
• Get yourself off the never-ending crazy track our lives seem to become. Our lives are supposed to be a journey from one unique place to another; it’s not supposed to be a merry-go-round that brings you back to the same spot over and over again.

I am back home now and I need to get some of my work done for school this week, but I just wanted to capture the a-has from life today. I feel like I am on the right track and with the right people and slowly, we are making a difference in the world. And that feeling is AMAZING.