So it’s already Friday and that means that I get to link up with Foursons for Letters of Intent. This blog carnival is a great way to share some praise, frustration, and anger. For more great letters, head on over there!

I’ve been reading letters on other blogs for a few weeks now, and thought I’d give it a try…So here I go…

Dear Fingers,

What the hell is wrong with all of you?!?!?  Please quit typing the word “the” like this… teh.   It’s annoying, and makes me look like a freak when I send emails or chat online.  I am sick of it.  Next time it happens, I may be tempted to knock you into next week.

Love,

The rest of the body

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Dear Dryer,

Where in the hell are you putting them?  I know you like to eat our socks, but seriously, I can’t afford to keep up with your large appetite!   Start spitting them back out…soon, or you will be replaced!

Love,

One of your owners

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Dear Parents of school-aged students,

If your kids are sick.  KEEP THEM AT HOME!  Really.   This is getting ridiculous.  When your kids can’t keep their head up, they shouldn’t be here. KEEP THEM HOME!  If your kids’ lung comes up every three minutes when he coughs, your kid needs to stay home!  If your kids’ nose is running like a freakin’ faucet, KEEP YOUR KID HOME.  See a pattern yet?

Love,

A FINALLY starting-to-get-well teacher

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Dear Aunt Flow,

Either come or don’t come.   Quit teasing me with your frickin’ cramps.  Tomorrow is “Test Day” and you’re really starting to piss me off.  Either stay the hell away…..for nine months, or come on already, why do you put me through this?!?

A baby-wantin’ Mama

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Dear Mr. Sandman,

WTF are you doing this week?  You need to dump a whole pile of sand on my son!  He  needs to sleep the whole night!   I am tiring of the cries and whines for me to join him in his bed.  Let him understand that Mama likes to be in a Queen bed with Hubby… his twin bed is a bit small for the two of us!  So, tonight, pull out the stops and let it all fall… on a sleepy little boy!

Love,

A VERY tired Mama

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Dear Bangs,

I appreciate how fast you are growing, making that awkward stage fly by a bit, but this week, you are really pissing me off.   Stay off my face, stay parted and off to the side!  I may be tempted to chop ya off soon!

Love,

Your Harried Mama

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Dear Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook,

WTF?  How can people score such high scores with you?  You are totally addicting and evil.  I keep trying to up my score, but it’s getting painful, yet I can’t stay away.  I have decided that you are the devil’s spawn.

Love,

an Addicted Mama

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Dear Writers of Grey Anatomy,

You guys are awesome!   This season is rockin’!   I cannot get enough!   I just love how you have written this years’ episodes!   Keep up the good work!  You make me long for Thursday evenings…

Love,

A McDreamin’ Mama

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Dear Writers of Brothers & SIsters,

Watch Grey’s Anatomy.  You are kinda depressing the crap pout of everyone with Kitty’s cancer, and you are dragging out stories…forever.   Alright already!   Just tell us who the hell that guy is who is screwin’ with Holly’s finances… tell Ryan to go back to his vampirish ways….that guy is creepy, and GET GOING!   Speed it up a bit!

Love,

A tired Mama who still watches because she enjoys the glass of Merlot she drinks while she watches

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Dear Craigs’ List shoppers,

SOMEONE LOOK  AT MY KITCHEN HUTCH!!!  It’s my favoritest piece of furniture, but I don’t have room for it in my kitchen/dining room anymore, and now I cannot park my car in the garage until YOU buy it!

Love,

A torn seller who needs to park inside because I am sick of scraping my mom-mobile windows every morning!

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Dear Basement/Family Room,

I am coming for you tomorrow.   I will clean you out and make you shine!  Get ready to be purged.  Get ready to be cleaned, sorted and organized!  Get ready, because I am coming!

Love,

The Super-charged Hormonal Bitch who wants a clean house

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons, and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!